The Musings of a Random Mind

Oops,

2009-12-28T20:46:00.001-06:00

So I don't post as much as I should.

Sorry.

I will try and get back in the habit soon. I am not into New Years Resolutions, but I hope i can be more consistent in posting soon.

In other news I had a wonderful Christmas. It was a good trip and I had fun simply sightseeing and relaxing.

Fun Stuff....

2009-05-25T08:01:00.001-05:00

So I am going to see if I can figure out this Google Gears things and start blogging offline too. Might get me to blog more often.

Hope this works out for me.

Weekend

2009-03-29T08:24:00.002-05:00

Well, as I sit here in Robert and Becca King's dining room I am struck by a few passing thoughts. One of them is that I am the only person in this house who is awake yet, one of the others is how great this weekend has been.

I have driven 3/4 across the state of Texas, for a wedding, and endured a blizzard. Now I have been told that as far as blizzards are concerned, this one was more of an off brand smoothie treat, that is a DQ joke if it missed btw. To my poor cold adverse, snow fearing mind it was a very odd, yet very real natural disaster.

So weather count for the last 12 months, Hurricane Ike, Spring '09 blizzard. I can only fear what happens this summer.

Besides the weather the wedding was beautiful, and I got to take quiter a few photos, and hopefully will get some of them posted soon. I am also going to try and have photos of the trip here and back.

Well it has been a great weekend, and I hate to cut it off, but I gotta get to work tomorrow.

Why does life always have to intrude?

Alive

2009-03-14T22:36:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to let anyone who reads this know that I am actually alive. I need to try and use this more, but wow does life get busy at times huh?

Well If anyone wants more posts i guess leave me a comment or two.

Huh????

2008-10-29T23:29:00.001-05:00

Ok, so this I really dont get.... why when everything is going well do i get a bad case of the "hate me's"??

I have a good Job, even thought it is not perfect.

I have the best girl friend I could bever hope for.

I have friends who care for me.

So why am I so discontent? Could I be such a perfectionist that I let even a little thing like an "off" day get me down on my self? Am I that petty, that things are so good, but that one little bit of dist drives me to depression?

I got not clue, oh well, here is to hoping sleep helps with the answer.

later folks,

August?

2008-08-19T21:17:00.003-05:00

Where did this month go? Have I really been that busy?

I guess so.

The last few weeks have seemed to fly by, at work and at home. I have been so busy I hardly have had the time for some good old fashioned thinking about life in general.

I am slowly but surely getting back to me, for way too long have been a charade of a person that I thought would be a better person. I was more outgoing, more chatty, louder and "more fun" that I actually am. What I have noticed is that it is massively draining. I need to get back to me. I want to be the genuine me, the honest me, the me that I think alot of people at least respected if not liked. I might not have been alot of fun, but at least I was me and honest to who I am.

I am an engineer so I am looking for some help, what is the action plan for this? If you were to find yourself acting in such a way that you hardly recognized your own personality, what would you do to restore the balance?

Sorry, please no one think that I dislike myself, or even that I hate being happy, I enjoy both. What I despise though is the feeling that I have that I have not been genuine to myself. I guess I just need to take stock of who I am, and who others want me to be and see what reconciliation can be had in there....... or something like that.

Hopefully soon I will be posting a few more photos and blogs, this sometimes helps me solidify thoughts wandering around my head.

Comments please...... or not, your choice.

Weekend

2008-07-20T22:52:00.002-05:00

Wow, I had a full week and a fun weekend that is for sure.

Saturday I went to the range with some of the guys and I had a good time out there. I am getting better. After that I went home and did some work on the computers. The afternoon and evening were taken up by a wedding in CS and it was a blast to be there, and an honor to get invited.

Sunday started off with dinner in CS at IHOP and driving back to Houston. After I woke up I was off to church. Today was bittersweet, our worship leader took his leave of us. We are going to miss him mightily and his efforts leading and teaching have been wonderful.

After lunch, i got to go to the movies and saw "The Dark Knight." It was very good, but felt just a bit off for me.

I have managed to get my "Homework" done this weekend and we will see if i can transport it to work tomorrow, I sure hope so as it will make for a wonderful showcase of some new capabilities.

Well I am off to bed soon, I hope..... sleep needs to happen more often for me.

Laterz folks, and as always, please leave comments.

UGHHH.........

2008-07-10T18:53:00.001-05:00

It is days like this that remind me why I love Fridays so much. Not oly did I have 8 hours of training off site today I got the chance to go into work and put in an hour and a half cleaning up a mess and getting it off to a customer.

Days like this remind me why I like weekends.

Days like the remind me how alone you can feel at home.

Days like this remind me that I have good friends.

Days like this......

Vista

2008-06-29T22:06:00.001-05:00

I do not know why people do not like the Vista OS. I have only had it for a few days and I have very few complaints or issues. I like the interface, stability has been great so far, and some of the updated chrome is nice.

For example I am loving the "Windows Sidebar", what i will be calling the gadget space. Right now, I am writing and reviewing this entire post in the gadget space. It is pretty cool if you ask me. Lets see I also have notes, two clocks, calandar and weather, CPU and Networking plots and monitors.

Due to ease and the fact that i will probably be using this a bit, hopefully i will finally follow through on posting more.

Leave comments, they make my poor small heart glow.... and that is a mental imiage for everyone.

Later folks,

Laptop Lifestyle

2008-06-28T16:03:00.001-05:00

So computer health has been an issue in my house latley, laptop display has an issue, and the desktop is crash happy.

However at work, i got assigned a laptop and a special project. The laptop lifestyle at work is very nice, having the ability to move and still get your done is awesome. I had the ability to move to a quiet area and get my work done for real. It was very productive.

I get to go at it again next week and hopefully i will be able to get my own laptop back up and running.

Well i am enjoying my new desktop, it is execlent, and it works well too.

I am gonig to try and get better about posting, now that I have a few tools that might make things easier.

Still Alive

2008-06-07T11:02:00.002-05:00

Howdy folks,

I an sorry I have been away, it just seems that life is getting so busy and hectic I find very little time to update anything. I will be trying in the next few weeks to keep this better up dated.

Drop me a message sometime, I like the feedback.

Soul Food

2008-01-14T21:22:00.000-06:00

We all know I love food, and that I love to cook. We also know that I love to jabber on about the inconsequential in life. I have some favorite dishes that I enjoy preparing for myself or for special people in my life.

I have come to a dawning realization, Stir Fry, in a decent wok and a few ingredients is the best thing to ever run into leftovers. I love it, use up food already paid for (i.e. Cheap), you can use almost anything in it (Rice, pasta, any pork, beef, chicken etc.). Also it is a wonderfully quick method, tonight dinner went from the fridge to the plate is probably 15 minutes.

This may not seem to be real cooking to some people, correct there are not any exotic ingredients, not special plating, nothing special about it at all. To me however this is where my cooking soul lives, in the "feed me" zone. I live the place that hunger meets supplies, inspiration, preparation, and experimentation.

I mean it, who else would make spicy left over ham and rise stir fry, leftovers from Jambalaya, Christmas dinner, spices off the counter, and a bit of adventure to see if it worked.

I love to have fun, nothing fancy, nothing too involved, simply dishes that are tasty, easy, and good for the soul. Soul food is the meal that is made from the heart, soul, and love of the cook. I make myself some soul food every time I cook.

Put some Soul into your cooking, enjoy it, love it, have fun.

Still here

2008-01-13T21:10:00.000-06:00

And still bad about posting.

I am really going to try and get better about this. We will see how long that lasts.

I simply wanted to let folks know i am doing well, I had a wonderful holidays.

Go check out the Photo Blog sometime and let me know what you think of the new photos i will be trying to post.

Hope ya'll are well,

Life

2007-12-02T23:26:00.001-06:00

Is not just a good TV show on Wednesday night, but is also a very difficult thing to get a handle on. I really have to hope that life gets easier to handle this Christmas season.

I don't know if it is just me, but I think that modern America we have taken Christmas, the celebration of the bringer of eternal peace and hope, and replaced that celebration with slavery to a schedule. I know that it is not wrong to have a good time and enjoy a holiday with friends, however it is a problem when your attitude and mood go down hill due to the stress of trying to celebrate. I think so often I miss the point of holidays, they are not the time when you go out of your way to work yourself into a frenzy trying to make others happy.

I really want to take some time this season to really accept and claim the peace that offered freely to all by a little child born 2 millennium ago. I would implore that everyone take some time to experience peace in this season.

I want someone to hold me to this and to help remind me to find some measure of peace each day. I have a feeling that this is going to be counter to every last bit of the worlds requirements, but it might be the exact right thing for me.

Tell me what you think, and share some ideas for obtaining peace, if you would.

Welcome Back......

2007-11-08T22:15:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I am bad about updating this thing. But come on, we all know that lives are busy, and everyone has a million things to do each and every day, right?

So I need to get better, I will try.

I do know one thing these days, Bible study is fascinating to me. I have this wonderful friend Mike Haskew, we can disagree on some points but with us it comes back to a point that we both agree on. I personally feel that it is one of the most intriguing relationships I have with anyone these days, to respectfully disagree with someone, yet not be concerned about trying to prove that one person or the other has to be right. So often these days we Americans are so caught up with the concept of "right", that we miss the concept of "friends". I know that I have done that in my own life, I have run people away from me by always having to be acknowledged as correct.

I think that what is really comes down to is pride. Pride drives you to think that you must be correct, and if that is true then all people must agree with you or they Must be wrong. I think that folks forget how simple a subject of right and wrong is, opinions aren't absolute, thoughts are not final; decisions are not cast in stone. Right and wrong is simple, Love the Lord your God with everything you have, and Love your neighbor as yourself.

On other, less deep topics, I had a blast a few weeks ago playing Flag Football with my company. They had a one day tournament and I actually am in better shape that I one thought. I played all but one down of 4 games, practically back to back. I had several sacks, an interception, and multiple hurries. I played both ways, O-Line and D-Line. I ran all day, and played it clean. I had fun.

If folks get a chance, I have a new MP3 player and I would love to get some philosophies on the correct way to order a play list.

Leave a comment and stuff, makes me feel loved.

September

2007-09-30T22:52:00.000-05:00

Has been horrible for me. I am glad this month is finally ending.

I have seen family members hospitalized, friends parents pass away; people disappointed in the church, and friends hurt by simple words. This month has sucked.

Personally I have been as stressed out as I could be, work is interesting, the house is getting a bit busier ( I like to clean, maintain, and improve during the fall), Church is going to be an interesting situation for a while. All of this stress is starting to build up, and it is starting to get to me. Yes I admit to actually being human and I can be worn down by life. I am not going to stop fighting, but these days I seem to make no headway, no progress with anything.

Has anyone else ever run into that? You are moving along doing the right things, making good decisions and nothing works out correctly? It is really annoying to know that your best, your absolute full out best can't cut it.

For Everyone,

Have a Joyful October!

Peace be with you,

Matt

College Football

2007-08-29T21:50:00.000-05:00

Will be the only thing that is going to keep me sane soon.

In case you had not heard my family is having to pull together around my Uncle Bob, he was struck with a stroke about a week and a half ago. The doctors managed a very tricky surgery and most likely saved his life with their quick intervention. Right now as of today we are dealing with less neurological issues and more medical issues. The course of action from here on out is going to be slow and safe, any big rushes are bad news.

This has been on my mind most of the time this last week, plus alot of other drama going on.

I am so glad to have football back, I may be the only person who is calmed down by football, but it really is a wonderful way to relax.

Well for now, I am going to cut it short, and simply ask for more prayers, and more sanity. The sanity is for me and my Aunt, the prayers are for me Uncle, my family, and the doctors and nurses, that all may have strength, knowledge, and insight to deal with everything as effectively as possible.

Time

2007-07-25T19:55:00.002-05:00

Ever notice how time works? I mean really stop and take stock of time?

Take a moment and try it....... LONGEST 5 seconds of your life huh?

Odd, we can talk for 10 minutes and time flies, but sit quietly and empty your mind, and time drags so slow. It is curious to me today as I was going flat out today at work, and looked up at 5:30 and realized that I had totally lost an hour or two, just missed them entirely while I had been busy.

How is time this variable, that it's passing can have such a duality, sometimes the time goes by and we hardly notice cause we are so busy or self involved. At other times time will seem like it is dragging everything out to drive you crazy.

What I have noticed is that the main variable is where my focus is, weather the time is my stuff, or someone else's. If I am talking, or working, or blogging, or anything at all for myself it seems to pass in an eye blink most times. The times I am listening to someone else, or doing something I did not choose to do, or busy work it seems to drag out forever. I think there might be something to that, possibly my own psychosis, but maybe something else.

Perhaps the secret is that times seems to be the most treasured when it is something I love, talking with great friends, do the good work I know i am capable of, serving for God; helping folks out, listening to a good conversation, learning; reading a good book, cooking a dinner.

Perhaps we are supposed to treasure every moment in life, not by tyring to save it up and spend it later, but by making every moment as special as possible. The seconds fly by at "9,192,631,770 cycles of Cesium-133 at 0 degrees C" however that is not their value.

The value of time is what you do with it, every "shake of a lambs tail" is precious.

BTW : a "Shake of a tail" is the amount of time it takes light to cross approximately 30 cm, about 10 nanoseconds, and folks say that remembering atomic physics and history are useless.

55 Percent............ of?

2007-07-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here goes.

It is half way through the year and where have we gotten so far? In the last 6 months, what all has been accomplished?

Globally, there have been regime changes in countries all over the world. Lives have been saved, lives have been taken. Movement all over the place, everywhere you see the evidence of life; where is the progress? All of this moving around, and business, where has it gotten the world?

Personally, what has happened in the last 6 months? Lets see, paid some stuff down, done much at work, mowed the lawn several times. I have slept and woken up 180 times (give or take a few), whined about work at least that many times. I have done some good in this world, and sadly, I have done evil. I am not sure if the last 6 months have been good, bad; helpful or destructive. I have moved my self around quite a bit, and seen changes, but I do not know if any of these changes were in a positive direction or not.

I guess what I am driving at, I think the last 6 months have been enjoyable, but I am not sure I actually accomplished anything of significance.

I have an idea, take a few minutes and look back, give yourself a semi-annual review of life. How do you fare?

Personally I think I would be about 55% of goal accomplishment, I have had more daily successes and fewer everyday failures, so I have to be on the positive side of something.

Just a thought for the day,

Random

2007-06-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

But that is what you get for reading my blog.

So I recently found one of the most engrossing, and entertaining sports on the planet, America's Cup racing. It is totally fascinating to watch 2 boats that both "obey" the rules race. It is like a NASCAR race on wind power. I have had the chance to watch it at lunch these days, and it is really a nice break in the day.

I believe that the two competitors are a team from Switzerland, and New Zealand. personally I am pulling for the New Zealanders, at least they speak English (of a sort).

Really, if you ever get a chance to check it out, it is very interesting, like a chess match, car race, and meteorological contest all rolled into one nice portable package.

That is the randomness for today.

Serve '07

2007-06-16T09:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, so this last week was Serve '07, the Youth work project for the summer. I was blessed to be able to go all 5 days, and through quite a few incidents through out the week, I had a chance to get to know some wonderful people, and I had a few chances for some personal growth too.

I started the week out with some many things wrong in my head and I would like to hope that I finished up with a bit more wisdom to work with. I showed up on Monday morning thinking that I was going to go down to where ever it was and do some work and I was going to get all the work done. Yeah..... Not so much. God got the work done when I let loose and let him lead, when I tried to lead it was a pretty miserable week. At one time the concept of letting God lead was easy to grasp and allowing that to happen on a large scale was easy, allowing God to work in a much more intimate way was, and still is, very uncomfortable. I learned that everything from less than functional drills, to lunch time was all his, and that if I shut up and listened there was something to get from every moment.

Other than those sorts of realizations, I also came to understand that there must be something about allowing God to do the work that makes it easier. I survived the whole week and I was actually trying to wear my self out and did not manage it yet. I was able to be early every day, and to work till i was ready to drop; only to get up the next day and go to it again.

It was amazing to get to work in Houston this week, in the 5th ward no less. I was apprehensive beforehand, I always try to understand any culture I will be encountering, so I can try and remove any offense, presuppositions, assumptions, biases, and to understand the folks i will be working with so that what service is called for can be given, and that the message of God can be communicated in a way that the receiver can see and feel. I really was not able before this week to get a good feel for the urban culture at all, and as this week went on, I started to get a better grip on it. It is all family, not by blood, or even by blocks, but by choice. Near the end of the week I had a 60 year old black woman feeding me like i was her grandson, and it felt like the right thing to do. I was not totally comfortable, but I put all of myself into it, the relationships that were made will be the things I remember the most.

Well I will try and post some more soon, have a great weekend ya'll.

Alrighty Then

2007-05-23T22:09:00.000-05:00

Time for some lighter fare I do believe. I apologise to the 3 of you who read this about some of the overly long and drawn out posts recently.

I had a small revelation today, about the pure pleasure of memories. I was having a rough day, and it was really starting to get to me. I felt a breeze come up, and for just a few seconds I closed my eyes and I was back in Belize. Facing the ocean, a fresh breeze on my face, and no concerns of note. It was for just a few seconds totally relaxing.

I think this is why God gave us memories, not to recall every word of text books, or remember ever phone number we ever got; but to recall the times that give us clarity and understanding. I was transported today to a place of relaxation, peace and God's majesty today.

I simply wanted to share with you that vision of peace, and maybe implore everyone to take 5 seconds and remember the blessings every day. It got me through a rough patch today that is for sure.

Too Smart? Too Good? Too Bad?

2007-04-28T20:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, I admit to it, I love to think about weird things, and I take inspiration from what most folks would consider odd sources. One of those sources is bad Science Fiction. I admit to liking science fiction, and I consider it to be one of the best mediums for expression, it allows freedom and thoughts that would be strangled out in any other genre.

The other day a theme of some SF hit me and it made me stop and think. This "Thesis" if you will was this:

"Any sufficiently advanced society will depend on technology, advancement, and overwhelming scientific knowledge to it's own demise. A society such as this will forget to think, forget creativity, and begging to die, not to live."

That is sort of my take on this theme; and i think that today we have plenty of examples. However I wanted to explore this thought more before trying to show examples.

I believe that this shows a sort of intellectual arrogance, a sense that once we have THIS we can handle anything with out having to think about it. It is a way of removing thought from the equation of problem solving. This will lead inevitability to rote answers and formulaic responses to every situation, no matter how odd or out of the ordinary. If X is the answer to every question, then what is the point of trying to understand anything? X

The concept of "understanding your way out of a problem" is basic to almost any decision that is made every day. Unless you take the time to consider the ramification of a decision you will very rarely make the correct one. Before you can make a correct decision the whole problem must be understood, including the more subtle problems, often this category involves people emotions, reactions; likes, dislikes; mood, and hidden issues. DO NOT think that I am saying that political correctness is the point. Absolutely not! All political correctness does it to mask the real thoughts, emotions, and opinions in a vernacular of pure banality. If you want to be honest, PC thoughts and words will probably not convey the full extent. No language is good at fully conferring thoughts from one person to another, but to artificially confine the language to a preselected and sensitivity tested subset of words is to only chop off 50% of the ability of a language. If you restrict words, the net effect is to restrict thoughts. Political correctness is slowly and surely killing this world, and every brain in it. If we try and reduce the whole of human interaction and thought into 25 categories, and you can only use positive, affirming words, just how accurate do you think you can get across the point, "I hate it when some dumb jack hole drives so badly he almost killed me!" The words we are restricted to will naturally lay out the channels of our thoughts.

See that aside was not as far afield as you thought huh?

What is the solution for this degradation of thought in the world. Easy, ask each person to do some. When problem solving becomes a basic skill, just like language and walking, it will be improved. My theory is that most folks are scared to make a decision, any decision. everyone is always told the consequences of a bad decision, and after enough of those messages it is easy to understand the reluctance to make any decision.

Now that i have wandered all over the place, he is how it ties together. If you allow any thinking to be done for you, any at all, you have surrendered the right to decision making. Once this is done on a societal level and it becomes a cultural imperative to allow some decisions be made for you, there is no recourse except for the solitary rebel who stands up and yells at the top of their lungs "I have a brain and I am not afraid to use it!" When someone rebels against the cultural and societal decisions it allows for thought again. When a cultural Knowledge is challenged it requires everyone to make a decision about that knowledge and that is the point; at this point a person can go from a walking zombie, reminiscent of Orwellian future, into a complete person.

I use the term knowledge very purposefully, this is the commonly held opinion that is so common and so accepted that to challenge it seems silly, because if you have never questioned it you have never really thought about it. Only when the spotlight of independent thought is brought to bear can we really see. On example of this is the whole marriage debate, what does it mean to be "married", and what are the specifics of it?

All of this decision making talk, and personal responsibility, and challenging talk goes back to the initial premise. That is that when you allow anything, society, others, or technology to take the decision out of the loop, then the person who makes the decision is similarly pointless. When the fall back is "Use the equation", "Follow the formula"; "Standard response # 3 (We are too busy, and will get to you when we can)" becomes the only thing, and there is no decision making involved, you might as well program a computer and eliminate the waste of oxygen.

For every person there is a decision made very early in life, that has echoes all the way down the years. That decision is weather to trust the formula or to derive it yourself. To put it another way:

Are you going to do your own thinking, or not?
Do you have the courage to make your own decisions, or will someone else make them for you?
Do you trust your own mind enough to follow it?

Can we be too smart? Yes! when we forget how to think and we know how to recite. When problem solving requires a calculator, not a brain. When thinking is too hard so just let the computer do it. When the old ways are forgotten because they are too hard to learn, not like we will ever have to understand the way out of a problem.

Who is the most valuable person alive? The one with the ability to make a decision.

My Spring Sprung a Leak

2007-04-01T22:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here goes. My spring has been interesting as all get out.

I have gone through the process of getting AC contractors to replace my AC unit outside, so as summer approaches I might be able to survive. I learned a few things while my AC was out. First thing is that when you consider that any heat you make has to be cooled somehow you get very good at noticing and eliminating heat sources. I went without cooking inside, cool meals, one light at a time, everything i could to reduce the heat i would have to exhaust somehow. The second thing I discovered is that my house is well set up for open window ventilation, saved me on a few occasions. If anyone ever needs help or advice on AC contractors, let me know, someone else ought to benefit from my learning too.

I also have to deal with a "minor" bit of damage to my truck. A woman at work figured that my nice, clean new passenger door needed to have some of her truck's paint on it, and a dent would look good there too, so yeah. It is going to be a pain to get fixed, and it is going to be interesting on how this get taken care of.

Found out a few weeks ago that our pastor, Adam, is leaving Foundry to go to a great new opportunity. This is tough for me, as he is not just a pastor, but i wonderful friend. I know that this is on God's will, but it still hurts. I know that i will still see him and be in touch, and I will still have a Friend in him and his wonderful wife. I do fear however that without such a wonderful pillar, that my faith will start to waver a bit, and that scares me.

Life is just being very interesting these days, and I am not sure I am all that comfortable with the course it is taking. I am used to being able to if not hold the wheel and steer, that to at least know the course and destination. Right now, I am in an area where I can't see the course, and I don't know the destination. I really hate this feeling of being lost, but i think this is something i need to work on, the idea of "Trust".

I am very hopeful that everything will work out and life gets to an even keel. I have a feeling that things will be slightly off kilter for a while yet to come. Just keep me in your prayers, and I will keep you in mine.

Hope all is well, leave a comment or something, it is always fun to know who is reading.

Life, and other similar things

2007-03-12T17:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, so life is FREAKING insane these days.

I am so tired of dealing with everything it makes me want to scream, and I would; however most of my windows are open as my Flipping AC is busted and I gotta cool the place of a bit. Thank the lord that the days have been mild for Texas, and I am close to having a fix available.

BTW, for all you folks out there in houses, or looking to buy, let me make a recommendation. Find folks who are fix-it types, hang out with them, and ask if you need help. I have found that by listening and asking questions you can learn TONs about everything. Like today, I got someone to drop the quote on service just be taking a photo of my AC unit's nameplate and reading it, the refrigerant was the cheaper kind. Asking where it was helped me get a better quote. Other things to know about are folks who can give hints on repairs, replacements, plumbing, electrical, etc.... One of the big ones that I trust my sister and a few other folks on is decorating. I have a guys taste and that is saying something. I have a decently decorated house with a few bright spots, but i have not repainted or anything.

Other than the AC and all the joy that goes with that, life has been insane. It is like a trip on a river......... in a barrel...... of snakes........ over a waterfall. I have been trying to take some time off for myself, and to relax. I have only found things to fill that time up with and make sure that I have more worries to deal with. Someone please help me!

Ah.... I am such a drama king sometimes. Life is actually good, and it might be getting better soon. matter of fact, after recent events, getting worse would be an accomplishment, and that is not a challenge. I am glad I have such wonderful parents, who when I am going off the rails will help bring me back and calm me down. Friends who care alot, about Me. Places I belong and I can feel important in, and needed. A church group that will accept and love me for who i am, no matter what.

Screw it, I am going to try and be positive:

I don't have a busted AC system, I have a house with great natural ventilation.

I don't have a house that is tough to keep up, I have a house, and I love it.

I don't have a church that I have to go to, I have a place that loves, and cares, and totally gets me.

I don't have annoyances, I have moments to let Jesus show. Like on the phone with a person having a day worse than mine, just taking 30 seconds to say howdy and ask how their day is, apparently it makes some folks happy.

OK, enough vent-rambling, it is dinner time.

Read and Respond

2007-01-20T11:57:00.000-06:00

Ok, here goes, for those joining this transmission recently I am prone to post some of my thoughts and opnions. I always welcome comments and would like for exeryone to be respectful.

So here goes.

So the other day I was thinking to my self again (I seem to be the best conversationalist i can find, I am not arrogant either, how dare you say that). I was reading a wonderful book and the author had a conversation between two characters. One of the people was thanking another for a kind act and wanted to know what prompted the act of "altruism", to which the answer was for reasons that a) did not need to be said, and b) "altruism" is merely a term for selfishness with camouflage.

I do not think that services done for another are necessarily termed "altruism", but i do believe that the term "Altruism" is over used and poorly used at best, and may be nothing than a verbal phantasm on the other hand. I intend to state an opinion here and back it up with what arguments and reasoning work for me, if you disagree, I am welcome to your input, but be polite please.

The first step in this sort if discourse is to normally lay out and define the terms involved. Altruism I would define is action with the sole intent to do good for another, there are no other motivations allowed, there should be no allowance for other reasoning, otherwise it is filling a need or desire of your own and is not valid altruism. I think another definition that needs to be stated is "selfishness" or "self interest", these I would define as having any benefit for the performer, if you do something due to the fact that it makes you feel good, or important, or anything like that it has some element of selfishness in it.

My opinion is that "altruism" is merely a smokescreen for people, it is a work that folks use to mask true intentions. Sometimes "altruism" is a way of saying, "I felt good knowing that what pass off as pocket change is a weeks money to another person". Other days it has the sense of "I know that i did something good today, and I am glad I could do that". Both of these are cases where I think we are throwing clouds of dust in the way. In my opinion, doing something that would help to enforce your own sense of importance and position is the height of selfishness and self promotion, but often it is the end result of "altruistic" acts.

Is the intention of a sports star to feed needy people at the soup kitchen, or clothe them with a donation, or is it to serve out a probation, send a fine to someplace to get recognition, or to show that despite their other action they are actually a much better person than some of their actions bear out? So often I have seen reporters show up to some football player working at habitat for humanity, or a soup kitchen and the player drops everything to talk about how great they are and what all they get out of helping out. This to me send the wrong message, "help out, it is all about how you feel at the end of the day". What message are we really sending when that is the end result.

I have seen this answer given in many churches too, and it saddens me. The "pitch" for the work project, or nursery help, or anything at the church. The pitch always includes the clause, ".... and you know at the end of it, you will feel good about doing something nice".

I think that when someone who claims Christianity, the answer for why the do something the only good answer is "This is my service and sacrifice to God." That being said, I think that honesty is still the best course in most cases. So if asked, give the honest answer to your intentions, I hope that mine can always be "My service and Sacrifice to God is to do this for You."; I fear that more often than not I let "Altruism" be my smoke screen for saying that I get to feel superior or better due to my actions, and that is why I am out there.

The basic premise for anyone that read this far: Be honest, with yourself most of all. Let your good works be of God, the only instigator of good in this world. If you do "good" and have intentions other than Obedience, be honest, say that you know it is what you are supposed to do, and you get a good feeling out of it, bu by no mean let the impression be given that your actions are totally pure in that case, the intentions matter.

I know this probably makes little sense, I wrote it over the course of several days, so it is a bit disjointed.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think, I might just have to write a disagreement with my self later.

Craziness

2007-01-15T17:59:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I have been away for a while, and it has been really difficult to sit down and write some. I know i need to get better about it, but everyone knows how the whole holiday season can get.

I am well these days, busy with work and church, stuff at home, and all of that. My life is boring, and I am always tired these days. I have really been encouraged these past few weeks by some of the youth at church, I actually was there while they stayed on topic and discussed the lesson of the week, it was pretty cool.

I got to go riding this weekend at Terry Hershey, it was a freaking blast. I am glad I went on Saturday, as today looks like it is the start of a new ice age for Houston. Riding was sort of interesting this week, I got to show a whole group of guys the trails and lead them around some. I got to be the "'ol guy" who knew the trails and really got to show off some riding too.

Soon I hope to be posting a more philosophical ranting, something that came to me a while back and I really need to get out, but i want it to be right also. It will be about the concept of "altruism". Stay Tuned, and as always leave a comment or hit a link.

New Photo Site

2006-12-19T22:22:00.000-06:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/matthew.d.campbell

Go check them out.

Trip update

2006-12-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

Ok, So I am a horrible person, and I have not given a trip report with photos yet. I know have promissed this soon, and I still intend to do that.

My life has gotten majorly busy the last wqeek or so, and I really want to take enough time to get the update just right.

Merry Christmas,

Trips

2006-12-03T23:25:00.000-06:00

So My company is sending myself and 2 other Engineers to Oregon for a meeting at a customers site this week. I am sorta looking forward to it, but also somewhat apprehensive, this is a big trip and my first for the company.

Well, I am trying to stay healthy, got a bit of a cough but dealing with it.

Stay in touch, leave me a message, it is always good to know who is stopping by and saying hello.

I will let ya'll know how the trip goes.

Allergies

2006-11-19T20:03:00.000-06:00

SUCK!

No really, I hate allergies. they are killing me today.

Well it is getting to be that time of year, holidays. Commercialism and greed at it's best.

Some folks know that I am not a huge fan of this season, and it is just that fact, that this time of celebration, family, and reflection has turned into a slice of what is wrong about all of America. No longer do people want to sit down to a nice Thanksgiving dinner, watch some football and enjoy thier family; it is now a time to wolf down a low fat, low cholestrol turkey sandwich with folks you hate but are related to, go to bed early so you can hit the Friday morning sales good and early. I love that people now pay hundrudes of dollars to get thier homes professionally lit for Christmas so that they can prove that they are better than thier neighbors. I decorate my home, but simply, and it is not professional or even noteworth, but it is my celebration of the Birth of Christ. I put up the tree, with lights, and decorations, but not many ornaments. I put it up for the symbolism, nopt impress anyone.

BTW, I have a new blog toy, look all the way at the bottom, it is a pretty cool way for me to see where folks are look from. I think i know who it might be from NY, and Texas is the only other dot. But hit that ahd take a look, and also please leave comments, it makes Matt a happy person.

Remember that what you do this season might show folks a little more about yourself than you realize. Make sure that your actions really do reflect your views, and also think about what your actions might tell someone about you.

Later Folks,

Things I Hate

2006-11-08T17:29:00.000-06:00

So I really really hate time changes. I don't mind the time change itself, but about 2 or 3 weeks later I really hit a wall and just get totally run down.

I think today is that day, I was totally wandering throughout the day, and I have just felt rundown all day.

I am not sure why this always happens around now, but boy does it bite. Feels like bad jet lag only no reason for it. Like wanting to go to sleep at 6 pm, that is not me at all.

Anyways, just felt like sharing that little bit.

Old Dog, New Tricks

2006-11-04T16:44:00.000-06:00

Ok, so anyone who knows me knows that I have alot of passions, sci-fi, reading; football, college football; A&M football, food and cooking. Cleaning was no where in that list.

So realize this fact when I show and tell you what I did.

I washed my truck and then waxed it. I actually took the time to clean something.

I just wanted to say that, pat my self on the back a bit.

Checkout the photoblog at some point, I will try and have pics of the 'Ridge up.

Conesquences

2006-10-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

A Wiley Coyote Culture:

I was eating dinner alone last night and I happened to be people watching as is my way when eating alone. I was also taking the time to read through my Sunday school book and it happened to use Mr. W. E. Coyote as an example, so it connected in my mind.

What I heard was the World Series on TV and the guys in the bar area talking about the pitching, hitting and coaching. I also heard several tables of folks ordering food, and chatting.

I heard one guy telling the waitress that he misordered and that she should take it back and get him what he wanted. He then told the waitress that he would not pay the extra for the swap, as he thought that a good customer service would simply accept the change with out comment or compensation. His wife also wanted a margarita, but was not pleased with it, and did not want pay for it.

One couple was chatting about how their friend, who had cheated in his marriage, should be welcomed back with out comment. Their reasoning about that was that the marriage was "through good and bad, health and sickness" and the man compared the bad decisions to a sickness, and there fore it should be excused without comment.

I think this is people taking a look at life like it is a cartoon, you can make bad decisions, run right off a cliff, and have no consequences. The new one concept that everyone wants to avoid in these days is "accountability". I have never had a problem with accepting the consequences of my bad decisions, and there are plenty of them. In the Road Runner Cartoons the coyote always had a hair brained scheme to catch the elusive prey and it never seemed to work out well for him. When he fell, crashed, blew up, ran into a wall, got crushed by a rock, or otherwise was exposed to something that should have mutilated him, he walked away to a funny sound and came right back after the commercial, there were no consequences to his actions. The Coyote was never accountable.

The culture we are in is the Coyote, a goal is identified and every hair brained idea is entertained, and there are no considerations to the consciences. People will pursue the prey to the point of ignoring the environment, or even if they are running right off a cliff. When people in this pursuit fail, they expect to fold up like an accordion and walk away squeaking. When this happens and people do not bounce right back, when thy are held accountable to the consequences, they hate the world and blame God for the unfairness. What is referred to by Americans as unfairness is actually fairness.

Thank God for forgiveness, but that does not prevent consequences. In bible study we talked about confession, and how it is a spiritual discipline. Forgiveness requires repentance to be effective, in that term is the concept of compensation, renewal, repair of the breach.

I think that this world needs to have more repair, more forgiveness, and more acceptance of accountability.

Leave your thoughts, weather you agree or not, I would like to know what the ones who read think.

Pictures, Photos, and Pics

2006-09-25T17:23:00.000-05:00

Photos,

I love to take pictures, as almost anyone who has seen me in the past few years has noticed. Last night I found a scene that I had to capture, and it makes a very strong impression on me. I added some of my thoughts under the series of pictures. Let me know what you think.

My Photo Blog!

New Stuff!

2006-09-09T08:36:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I am a very bad person for not keeping this thing more up to date. I need to get better about it.

Life has been freaking crazy recently. I have a new vehicle now, a 2007 Honda Ridgeline. And I know what a few of you are thinking, a pickup truck built by Honda?!? YES! and it is a damn good one at that. If you can get over your ego for a minute, and thinking analytically about your driving habits, the Honda Ridgeline is one of the best pickup trucks on the market. It is well thought out, superbly engineered, well designed, and has the strength and capacity to handle most any task that is required. No, I can not tow a house with it, or go rock crawling, or have 450 ft.-lb. of torque, but honestly who does in an every day vehicle?

The same day I had to trade in my old F-150, which by the way was a great truck for 9 years, and I am very impressed with it, I went to my 10 year highschool reunion. That was a blast if you ask me. I got to catch up with some old friends, and to start to connect with some folks I one recgonized. It was interesting to see how a few people never changed one bit, and how a few were totally different. It made me laugh that the whole time, the old highschool cliques reformed, the brains in one corner, drama folks in another, Football players in front of the buffet, and the other groups you could think of. I was able to move through praticaly every group and catch up with a lot of people, in high school I was a very quite guy, never spoke much, and to have some folks comment on how I was so talkative now, was kinda refreshing. I have changed, not personality, or marital status, no kids still, no big life changing events yet, but I was a more open, friendly, conversational version of the Matt that folks used to know.

I also do not have my old roommate anymore, he has moved on to his dream job in Austin, and I am totally thrilled for him. For over two years now he has wanted to get a job as a full time firefighter somewhere, and in the last year or so, he got his heart set on Austin. Well he is there now and I would like to ask that folks pray for him, that he finds a good Christian environment somewhere there and stays true to his faith. I know how hard it can be to keep that when you have a big move, and also, this is Austin folks. Not that I have anything against my hometown, but it is not the place that is most conducive to a Christian life.

the other thing going on is that at church we have been working on a production of "The Music Man", and opening night was last night. We had a few oops', and a few improvisation moments, but all in all it was a good night. I am running the follow spot, and for those of ya'll who don't know what that is, the follow spot is the one that highlights the center of attention. It is a tough, critical job with a bit of regard and respect. The job of follow spot is stressful as any, especially for a perfectionist like me, but it went fine and I need to remember that the purpose is not really to make profit off of tickets etc... But to introduce people to a good performance in the house of God, and maybe just maybe influence one heart to show up on Sunday, if that happens all of it was worth the time.

Well I am sure that there are tons of other things I could share, but I will try to write them down in more posts soon.

Have a great weekend all!

2006-08-09T22:55:00.000-05:00

I have been a bit out of the loop recently, computers have been a bit on the cantenkeraous side. I have to replace a hard drive on my laptop, reinstall the OS and the go about rehabbing it so that it is useful once again.

Other than that, I went to Colorado with the Family, the drive went well actually, considering it was 16 hours one way. The wedding went well and it was successful, someone actually got married that night. I enjoyed the time up there.

I am very happy to report that my Roomate got his dream job in Austin. So he will be moving there soon, and I am very glad that his career is headed in the direction that he wants.

I will try and post more soon, and also in the photo blog.

2006-07-16T20:08:00.000-05:00

Boy am I glad that I am pretty much a Tech Support guy for my self. In the past few days, I have rehabed a desktop computer, cleaned it out, and added some new functionality; also backed up and diagnosed my laptop computer.

I got a new DVD burner for my desktop, and I am playing around with it, we will see what new things I can do with it now.

well, if I have been out of touch that is why, so thanks for the patience, and drop me an email sometime.

2006-07-04T00:05:00.000-05:00

God is so amazing!

Last week I had the oppoturnity to attend a UM ARMY camp in Beaumont Texas. We were working in the community to clean up some of the damage caused by Rita and generally show the love of God to the whole City.

I knew going into the week that the work was only a side job to the real purpose of showing Christ's love, but the work was still important to me. I never would have thought I would have seen God's hand so clearly so many times through out the whole week. I saw family after family so overjoyed that someone, anyone, came to help them. I saw students begin to understand the whole impact of the call to true servanthood and discipleship of God. I saw my self doing things and leading folks to tasks and callings that could not have been done under human power.

Through out the week I had the honor of being the only Work Team Adult who also was working as part of the programs team. During the day, from 7 am till 5ish in the evening, I was working construction type of work, rebuilding handrails, painting, siding replacement. I was helping right along with the students, and I think that despite some slight issues we had with motivation and organization that we got the right work done right. During the evenings after meetings and paperwork from 6 till 8 I was working on teambuilding and eating, and boy were there some great things in both of those. 8 till midnight or 12:30 or so was worship time, and programs work, soundchecks, running the sound board, light controls, helping out with worship, setup, breakdown, everything that I was able to help with.

Needless to say I was totally exhausted at the end of the week, 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night, and lots of work during the day, made for a long week.

Client night this year was such a powerful thing for me, some of my Team's clients actually showed up and joined us. Now the way we met them was totally God. I was sitting at dinner with my team and 2 elderly black folks, who were obviously a couple sat down at our table. I was slightly bummed as none of our clients had shown up yet. I was talking to our guests and introduced myself and the group and offered to "adopt" them as our clients for the night and asked their names. They introduced them selves as the Adams family and said that we had replaced some windows for them. As I sat there it dawned on me that sitting there was actually the clients we had worked for the day before. I had talked to their daughter the day before and never met them. When I realized this it was like a burden was lifted from my whole time with UM ARMY. I had never before had a client show up, and I had never had one want to step to the front of the sanctuary and tell the whole gathered assembly what our kids had done for her. It was a powerful night all around, we had folks crying, laughing, and preaching. We changed folks homes, hearts, and even some outlooks on lives. We had folks testify to being scared of teenagers until a group completely rehabilitated a family home. We had women praseing God simply for replacing 5 window panes, or some siding and putting a good handrail in place for a wheelchair ramp.

If you ever doubt that God exists, go to a client night at UM ARMY, visit a work site, talk to someone who has gone. It is one of the most powerful spiritual retreats I have ever been on and one of the most effective mission trip also. A week like that can totally revitalize a dry spirit or kindle the fire in a new believer. This was the sort of week that sticks with you for a long time.

I would love to tell me, so please drop me an email and I will fill in some of the other details or stories.

Later Ya'll, Happy 4th, Praise God, Love freedom,

2006-05-21T21:50:00.000-05:00

Wow, this is going to be short. Work is hectic, we are now down to 50% strength. Monday, I am going to have to spend all day long working on things that are not daily work, and it is only going to make life difficult on the rest of the guys.

Church is going well today. However Stephen and Star Smith, our worship leaders, had their last service with us today, Irving Texas is getting some great leaders, and wonderful people in them. It was sad to see them go, but at the same time God has called them to something great. I also have faith that God has some wonderful worship leader in store for Foundry.

Well I gotta run, check out the photoblog sometime, I like to post my new works there sometimes.

later folks,

2006-04-29T12:03:00.000-05:00

So the promotion went through, and I got my newly revised paycheck yesterday. I like having a little bit more comming in every month makes life easier.

Work however is gonig to get crazy soon. we have lots of work to do and not many people, and when we get new guys in it is going to be tough just to get them trained up.

But on to happier topics, I love Spring/Summer time, it is nice outside, pool parties are often. I am a huge fan of the Grillin' and Chillin' time for those of you who do not know. I love to Grill. Ask my sister, I am kinda fanatical about it. I love to grill whenever it is allowed, I have a grill set my family got for my birthday one year, and it is great, you get to walk up and bust out this James Bond looking set of tools and gear. I have added a meat hermoter to the kit and a few other things. like I said I am a bit fanatical about my cooking.

I have not had alot of chances recently to do lots of Photography, it has been a crazy busy time of year for me and my hobbies are kinda suffering. I have not gone Photoing, not much biking, little time for my few shows, it has simply been busy.

I will post a few pictures soon and see what folks think of them.

leave me some nice notes they are fun to read.

2006-04-11T21:11:00.000-05:00

Life is good!

Can I get an Amen for Promotions at work?

AMEN!

Other news to follow soon, just had to share the newest news soon.

2006-03-11T22:30:00.000-06:00

Hey there folks, I simply wanted to say that the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is actually kinda fun. I got the chance to see Pat Green perform and he did a pretty good job.

It is fun, however there were quite a few "prosta-tots", the high school hoochie girls. My buddy John coined the term and it made me laugh for about 5 minutes.

If you ever get the chance to go to the rodeo, I would recommend that you do. It is a very enjoyable experience. The performance was good, the fair was interesting. I enjoyed just watching some of the folks out there. I will probably post some of my pictures on the photo blog.

have a great weekend, everyone,

2006-02-28T23:07:00.000-06:00

Bible study tonight made me think of something, so you readers will have to forgive me if i start to preach a bit. We studied Lent, and talked about the season, the traditions and some of the meanings behind it, and it got me to thinking.

Why is it that we live a season of Lent, why not aim for a Lenten Life. I admit, i think it would be tough, but is that not what we are ultimately called to do, live a life that is free of sin. A Lenten life would be one of deep introspection, prayer, and service, sounds like a good definition of a Christian life to me. I really do think that a life lived in all seasons as Lent would be a good thing for Christians.

Most folks look at Lent as the time that you give up something you like, chocolate, caffeine, cokes, what ever that thing that you like is. These sacrifices should really have some spiritual signfiance, not simply an ascetic removal of pleasure from your life. I think for lent it is more about identifying the sin in your life and stepping in with Doctor God to excise that cancer from your soul. That removal may take something with it, but it was probably not a good thing to begin with. The other reason I like the Great Healer analogy is that no one would ever do surgery on them selves, like real open heart type surgery. God must be the one doing his work, we simply have to let him, and we have to trust.

I think this Lent during the times of introspection I am going to ask that God identify my flaws, and help me to set out an action plan to remedy them. I will ask what i need to "give up", not just for lent so folks know I am a good Christian and I follow the traditions, but rather the big things, the Sins i love so much that are the Devil's work in me to separate me from God. Lent should not be 40 days of right living and prayer to make up for the other 325 days of debauchery and fun. Lent should be a reminder, and an encourager to us all, a season to re-charge and realign our minds and should with God. Life should be lived every hour as if it were Ash Wednesday Service, not depressed, down, self loathing time. Rather a time of introspection, correction, improvement, and total surrender to the Healer, Jesus.

Well now that i have preached and bored you all, leave a comment, let me know what you think,

Also, if it is your way, please pray for all Christians during Lent, that God will act in their lives and souls and help us realign with his path for each of us. Pray for healing of minds, bodies, souls and relationships. Pray for me as well, that this season will last a life time.

God bless,

2006-02-11T10:34:00.000-06:00

Well, I actually had a good morning today, which considering the week I just had was amazing. I am actually well rested and relaxing today. I am not sure if i will do responsible stuff today or be a bit of a slug, some advice would not be un appreciated, if folks like to give that out.

I found out this week that I was passed over for a promotion, and the guy who got it is someone who I trained, who I taught everything that he knows. He will not be as good of an engineer as I, however he might not be a bad administrator. The decision by my boss has made my path further in my career much clearer now, as I know it will not be with my current company.

I have spent this morning cooking a quick breakfast and watching the Olympics, HD tv is the best for watching Hockey. I watched the women's game and it was great, with HD you can easily pick out the puck.

Well i will hopefully get better about posting on here and keeping folks updated. Hope everyone is well.

Have a good Saturday kids.

2006-01-25T13:10:00.000-06:00

Another short update, Life is still going.

Work is really driving me nuts somewhat, lots to do, not alot of support.

Church is great, I am getting more involved in the youth group, but it is just a bit more time every week i do not have for my self.

I have to figure out what is happeneing with the Super Bowl this year, folks want the party at my place, but i dont think i am going to be available (See youth group above).

Ah...... gotta love making decision that have no good outcomes possible.

gotta run folks, catch ya'll later,

2006-01-02T21:35:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to everyone, I hope every person had an enjoyable and safe New Years.

I have another prayer request for a friend. I recently found that a companion of mine at church has been diagnosed with a form of cancer. I am not sure of the details, however it will help and assist if prayer is applied. I thank all of you in advance for your prayers of healing, wisdom, hope, and knowledge, and I thank each of you for the time that you spend.

BTW, check out the Photo Blog, it has some new pics up and I always love comment on them.

Regards,

2005-12-28T12:05:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I am bad about updating this thing..... sorry.

I hope everyone has had a good Christmas Season, I know mine has been filled with parties, get-togethers, family visits, and all the drama that goes along with those things. I did get some very cool gifts for Christmas and my Birthday (Yesterday), among them, a "Darth Tater" potato head doll, it is about the funniest thing I have ever seen.

I want to take a chance to request some prayers, one for a friend with some health issues, that the doctors can diagnose what they have and find a way to cure or treat it. Also, prayers for my friend that was robbed a few weeks ago, hope that they get everything back in order. Prayers for my Church for the new year, that the direction and decisions are of God, and not leadership or the congeration. And also I would pray that everyone has a fun and safe New Years, and a great 2006.

I will be posting more soon, and maybe even a few pictures on the photo blog.

2005-12-01T21:36:00.001-06:00

Thoughts from the end of the hall.

Random musings from the back of my mind.

I have recently found that I have a way of making almost anyone hate me, and it has to do with my conversations and some of my own personal philosophy. I ask too many questions, I answer questions with questions. I have a problem.

I admit it, I have a problem. I have a problem with statements, sentences, answers. I. Do. Not. Like. Them.

They lead no where, they are dead; once said they have no importance. I love Questions, questions have a purpose that out lives themselves. Questions lead to more questions, they are alive. Questions have meaning, they have substance, they learn. I think that more and more I have come to embrace this concept in much of my life, I do not like to hear anything but questions. Questions are how you get to know someone, how you learn about them. A well phrased question will be remembered (e.g Et tu Brute?) where as the answer is sometimes worthless.

If I tell you that the answer is 34 plus or minus 2, it means absolutely nothing, it is only numbers. If I tell you that "Edward did it" there would be nothing to work with. The question is what matters, without it words are only noise.

The question is the fundamental concept that learning is possible. Notice how people phrase the age old "Question", "Why did the caveman draw on the wall?" It to me seems that the answer is, that his friend asked how many Mastadons there were 3 hills over and the guy needed more space to answer in. A cave painting, a picture, a book, the internet, all of these are about the beauty of the Question; why did the cave man paint? We know he did, we know how, we know what he painted with, we even know when; but we are fascinated with the WHY. The Mona Lisa is not the most famous painting because it is executed wonderfully, or uses color better than any other, it is famous cause everyone wonders why she smiles like she does. You buy a book because you have a question, if you had the answers, you would not need it.

Even think about the word "Question". It is a Quest, a journey towards an end. It is the act of seeking, it is the adventure of learning.

I admit I have a love of the Question.

Why?

2005-11-27T07:54:00.000-06:00

Ok, some thanksgiving pictures are up. For those of ya'll who don't know, one side of the family likes to do thanksgiving with everyone in town. This is my dad's side, and I am the shortest one of my generation of the guys, and I am 6'3 or 6'4.

The trip went well, two and a half hour drive this time, no where near the drive I had on my last trip (Evacuation from Rita).

Well I will give a few more updates soon, hop all are well and had a joyful thanksgiving. Enjoy the day, and leave a message

2005-11-20T22:30:00.000-06:00

Alright folks, short update.

'Tis Sunday, tired as all get out.
Still not loving the work life.
There is no work getting done around the house.
Holiday are apoun us like the Vandals sacking Rome.

BTW, what is the deal with everyone trying to tell you to stop being a "bah hum bug" or a "Grinch" during the holidays?!? I mean really, do folks think that people aren't already aware that they are not in the spirit of things for some reason, and that they ought to cheer up a bit. Folks, ask a question, offer a shoulder, be kind to someone. Berating someone who is not in the holiday spirit is like giving someone with a heartattack a good scare; you might like it, but is not a good thing for the recipient.

continuing on:

I still am single.
Friends are always asking for help, and I am a "great guy".
Friends forget about me, or just don't remember me sometimes.
I need to go to bed and hope tomorrow is a better day.

Who am I kidding, tomorrow is Monday, lets hope Tuesday is good.

Sorry bout the mope-fest, just been a tought few weeks.

Later folks,

The really really really tired guy, Matt.

2005-11-02T22:26:00.000-06:00

Just a quick update, you can now visit my Photo Blog, http://thephilosophicalengineerphoto.blogspot.com/

Take a stumble around and let me know what you think of some of the photos I wish to let others see. They are not the best, I save those for my own walls, but they are good enough to share.

Take a look and let me konw what you think.

2005-11-02T18:57:00.000-06:00

Ok it's been a while, but life has been very busy, not a good excuse, but it has the novelty of being honest.

I have some big decisions coming up in my life soon. I think that I am going to be looking for a new job soon, and trying to find a bit more sastification in that arena. I have also been asked to join a different ministry team at Church. While this is an honor, it is a big decision and one i need to pray and think on at length, if anyone has advice, let me know, I would love some help with this one.

Other that I am working my self to death and trying to get used to this time change, it is really messing with me though.

Well it is off to bed with me, have a great evening folks,

2005-10-05T22:12:00.000-05:00

Wow, busy few weeks.

Lets see, Work is like always challenging, rough, and a fight to stay concentrated on such mundane tasks. I really enjoy some aspects of the job, but other parts of it bore me to tears.

Rita Hit about 2 weeks ago and it was a really interesting experience to be part of the "Evacuation". I drove to stay with my family in Austin, normally about a 2 to 2.5 hour drive, it took me 17 hours to get there. 12 hours is spent getting 1/8 of the way there, the other 7/8th took only 5 hours. My left arm got sunburned so badly that is it still peeling, 2 weeks later. I think I actually had a first degree burn at places. But after all of that, I got to a safe place, saw the family, and there was no damage to my house at all. God was really looking after lots of people that day, and I am glad for it. It was interesting though, my sense of humor really seemed to help me through everything, I was singing with KSBJ for like 6 hours, laughing and smiling, and getting the folks around me to smile in their cars too. I was watching movies on my laptop and enjoying it. I made jokes with the drives around me, and talked to folks on the road and basically did what i could to keep folks spirits up. It was interesting for me to be the cheerful one picking people up and getting them to smile, but it was the right thing to do.

Sine then, it has become very clear to me what is important and what is just nice to have. I think it is kinda sad that it takes a disaster or the threat of a disaster to really draw that line for you. When you have to evacuate from your house in less than 3 days, in only one vehicle, you really take stock of your possessions and their meaning and it makes you analyze what is really important to you. For me it was photos of my grandfather, my diploma, and a few other sedemintal things. Other than those, I had my bike, some clothes and my computers. Everything else I left at my house, come what may. It was nice stuff, but not irreplaceable. I think it is after things like this that folks really understand what life is. It is not "Things", not "Stuff", not "Possessions", it is friends, and memories, and experiences that make a life. The things just make it a bit easier.

I have gotten really into this whole mountain biking thing, I went clipless a few weeks back and i love the things, my peddling is so much more efficient, I can go faster farther and longer and not feel as tired at the end of the ride. It is also really helping with the weight loss, I am now down near 295, and for me that is a pretty good loss. I hope i can keep with it, and do some more good, if nothing else it is a great way to spend time, better than in front of the TV with a bag of Doritos.

Well i better get to sleep soon, have a great weeks folks, and thanks for stopping by and looking around my random thoughts.

2005-09-12T21:34:00.000-05:00

Tired........

....... So very Tired.

Sorry it has been so long folks, I have been getting a bit worn down by life lately. I am having to work through some things right now, and it seems that every issue requires lots of time and work on it to get it to if not a final position, a stable location. I seem to be doing many thing, for lots of folks, and I never take time for myself. But that is my MO, help everyone else ignore myself. I am on the verge of doing somethings that would make me happy and might disappoint or even make some other people mad. I have gotten to this point, mainly because nice guys (me, maybe) really do finish last and it is never fun to be dead last in everything.

if this post made any sense, be glad, i am so tired right now, I am not sure i can even really type properly.

later ya'll

2005-08-23T22:05:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a heck of a week and only Tuesday. It has been a rough week so far and not looking to get any easier. However, I got a double dose of one of my few guilty pleasures.

Oh get your mind out of the gutter people!!

It is another of my TV shows. I will say though that i only watch like 6 hours of shows a week, plus sports, but that is more recreation than anything else. Meanwhile back to the show, House. I just love the non-stop snark and sarcasm and slamming that goes on, it makes that sort of evil mean part of my heart leap with joy. I simply enjoy getting to watch a show with a lovable mean guy who spouts venom with every step, yet is respected by everyone.

Enough of the rampant fanboyisms, I am going to try and get to bed early tonight, try and have a good day tomorrow.

BTW, Space Opera, is not a term i invented, it is a term that is used to describe a work of science fiction that is grand in scale, scope, and drama. Good examples are the Star Wars series by G. Lucas, 2001 by S. Kubrick, and to an extent Star Trek.

Hope everyone is well, and have a great week, write a comment if you get a chance.

2005-08-17T21:34:00.000-05:00

Ok I just gotta throw my appreciation behind a specific TV show. I am a bit of a fan of any Sci Fi, well more fanatical than anything. Being such a fan of the genre in general and in particular the "space opera" sub-genre, I have found a new rival for best Sci Fi series ever. Nothing will ever really be able to replace Babylon 5 for me, it was just perfect in terms of scope and writing and all of that, but this program comes close.

What program could I be talking about?

What show could engender such devotion out of a jaded Sci Fi junky?

Battle Star Galatica, BSG for short.

It is a great show, with a very well put together cast and writers who seem to really get into the spirit and minds of the characters they have created. The dialogue is spot on great most of the times, and it is VERY lean, they are pretty good about allowing the audience to figure out things on their own and to let the action speak for what it is. There need not be some "after action" narration to tell you what is happening, the writers and producers really do think that people are smart enough to figure somethings out.

The other thing I love about the pacing of the episodes is that in 45 or 46 minutes of programming, there is not a wasted moment. The payoff might be 3 or 4 episodes later, but I have rarely seen a wasted minute in this show. Compare this writing to say any other show, SG-1 (least this season of it), SGA (most of the whole thing), CSI (technobabble defined); all of these examples have somewhat inconsistent characterization, some poor casting choices at times, sloth like paceing, or sprinters pacing, neither of which really leads to any tension. My thing about the pacing of a good dramatic space opera is it should be like a properly prepared and served 5 course meal, it ought to start right, be fast enough you don't get bored, but enough time to really enjoy what is in front of you; the paceing should not feel like a sloth waddling by so slow that you have enough time to really nail the inconsistencies. The pace of the episode should also not go by so fast that you miss some details, or even major plot points because you are trying to fit more CGI budget into the last act and running of time in act 2.

I just had to take the time today and think about why I enjoy this show so much, it is great and I love it. Folks may think i am odd, but so what, most of you do anyways.

Hope everyone is well and having a decent week so far. Stay safe and write a comment or two.

2005-08-07T16:48:00.000-05:00

Howdy Folks,

I know it has been a while since I wrote, however it has been a very difficult week or so and I feel justified in taking it a bit easy.

I thought that this week I would share some fun links I have collected:

http://www.gpsvisualizer.com/index.html

That is where the map above came from, it is a GPS trace of the trail, pretty cool huh?

Another fun link is ThinkGeek. Really cool site if you are all about embracing the inner Geek. Hey what can I say, I am a Geek and I am probably smarter than you?? :) he he he, Just kidding, if you are reading this you are smart enough already, and only getting smarter.

Another fun one is Television Without Pity, a place that takes snark and refines it to a true artform. If you watch any TV and want to see what they have to say on some certain shows, check it out, they are really funny sometimes.

Ok this one is easy, easy as pie. Sorry that joke was just asking to be made. I love to go and visit Food Network, it is fun and informative and some really good ideas for meals.

Other than that, I hope everyone has a good week and all that jazz, I will try and post an update sometime this week.

Later folks,

2005-07-28T22:45:00.000-05:00

Life, and the things that go with it.

don't you just love life sometimes, I am actually not being sarcastic when I say that, for once. I really do sometimes just plain love life, or rather seeing God in the little things that can really make a day better.

Things like :

1) A great Sunset after you had an annoying day and just happened to sit down to dinner facing west.

2) Random phone calls from friends just calling to say hey.

3) Doing a great job at work and actually having someone praise you for it. Almost like someone actually notices that you are a good person to have around.

4) Having change be a $1.97, and getting $2 back, some folks don't mind the $0.03, and it is nice to see that is a store.

5) Seeing my bathroom scale with smaller number almost ever day.

6) Just knowing that all of these things are part of God's creation, and reminding yourself that He really does care and is concerned with your life.

I thought I would drop those few thoughts on folks, and maybe ever brighten someone's day up.

Hey if you get a chance leave me a comment, it is nice to know some folks really do read this. Have a great night ya'll and enjoy God's creation.

2005-07-25T10:32:00.000-05:00

Howdy Folks,

I just got back from the Mission trip I took with my Church, Foundry UMC. WE went to Jaurez Mexico for a week and built 2 houses for families. It was my 3rd time going down and this time something really struck me this year.

First off, getting off the ground was a bit difficult, we flew on Southwest, and they are cheap. They are cheap cause they run a tight, lean ship. This lean running also means that when some flights are delayed, there are no spare pilots available and you get to spend an extra 5 hours in the airport. This can lead to extreme boredom and the quick depletion of books, conversation topics and in some cases, friendships. After we finally got into El Paso, it was not too difficult to get in to Proyecto Abrigo again.

The folks at PA are great, they provide a safe place to stay, sleep, and eat. I personally love all the food they serve us, however some folks just do not like it at all, I think they are crazy.

This week I got to drive our group to the worksite and back several times and it was very interesting, I had never driven in Mexico before and it was a very odd thing to do. The traffic laws seem to be a bit more flexible there, and it took some getting used too. But we made it just fine and no one got injured at all working this week.

I have this to say about the people of Juarez though, they may not have lots of money or stuff, but they sure do have happiness, joy, peace, family and all the things that make life worth living. I think there is more to learn from the people we met than from the work we did. But do not get me wrong, the work was tough but worth it.

Well that is a short recap of the last week, I may post some other stories later.

Have a great week folks.

2005-07-06T17:55:00.000-05:00

Wow, This was a kinda fun weekend. I went biking 2 times this last weekend and I finally finished 2 trails. I got out to the "Bowl" at Terry Hershey Park, and I also finished the "Green Trail" at Memorial. These are fairly good trails with roots and hills and all sorts of stuff. I think it is a pretty good accomplishment, and if you disagree too bad.

I am still working at losing weight these days, however the progress has slowed down a bit, I figure I have basically burned the easy part so far now it is down to the nitty gritty. I guess all of the cook outs and BBq's I have gone too have not helped either. I am just keeping one thing in mind, everything is an improvement, if I am going to meet my personal goals, I have to stay the course. Discouragement is worse then a few slices of pizza, or an extra serving of anything.

I am also trying to stay positive about other thing these days, but it does take some time. Basically I have always had low self esteem and I have to work really hard to get it up to a healthy level. I have recently done a few "personality" things, and courses, and for the most part I am doing what I should. I guess it is just difficult when everyone else is not doing their part.

I had a great 4th, and I hope soon to be able to post some of my pictures so everyone can see them.

Other than that, have a great week and a safe weekend everyone,

2005-06-25T23:37:00.000-05:00

Howdy Folks,

I hope veryone is doing well today. I had a wonderful evening tonight, I got to hang out with some old friends from college and it was wonderful. We ate burgers, talked jobs, and families, and caught up on folks we used to know. I am so glad I know a group of folks who will take me in at anytime and will help me through everything.

I hope everyone can find a group of folks like this, I know i found this bunch at Church and it is almost the perfect place to find them. You always have something to talk about, and you can be fairly certian of some of the values of the people. I also just have to say how thankful I am for my church "The Foundry", it is a great place and I think i may have started to find my puropuse in life and a place to belong. I think that churches are like that because that are God's house, and we are all his childern, everyone should feel right at home in a church.

well that is enough talking tonight, have a great night, and a better week ahead.

2005-06-19T23:12:00.000-05:00

Howdy folks, I am hoping that i can do a bit better of a job of keeping this blog updated. It is going to be a sort of keeping up with Matt sort of thing. I will hopefully be posting some intresting stories (the names will be changed to protect the guilty), and hopefully some cool photos too.

BTW, Batman Begins is a pretty darn fun movie, i enjoyed it.