August?

Where did this month go? Have I really been that busy?

I guess so.

The last few weeks have seemed to fly by, at work and at home. I have been so busy I hardly have had the time for some good old fashioned thinking about life in general.

I am slowly but surely getting back to me, for way too long have been a charade of a person that I thought would be a better person. I was more outgoing, more chatty, louder and "more fun" that I actually am. What I have noticed is that it is massively draining. I need to get back to me. I want to be the genuine me, the honest me, the me that I think alot of people at least respected if not liked. I might not have been alot of fun, but at least I was me and honest to who I am.

I am an engineer so I am looking for some help, what is the action plan for this? If you were to find yourself acting in such a way that you hardly recognized your own personality, what would you do to restore the balance?

Sorry, please no one think that I dislike myself, or even that I hate being happy, I enjoy both. What I despise though is the feeling that I have that I have not been genuine to myself. I guess I just need to take stock of who I am, and who others want me to be and see what reconciliation can be had in there....... or something like that.

Hopefully soon I will be posting a few more photos and blogs, this sometimes helps me solidify thoughts wandering around my head.

Comments please...... or not, your choice.

Weekend

Wow, I had a full week and a fun weekend that is for sure.

Saturday I went to the range with some of the guys and I had a good time out there. I am getting better. After that I went home and did some work on the computers. The afternoon and evening were taken up by a wedding in CS and it was a blast to be there, and an honor to get invited.

Sunday started off with dinner in CS at IHOP and driving back to Houston. After I woke up I was off to church. Today was bittersweet, our worship leader took his leave of us. We are going to miss him mightily and his efforts leading and teaching have been wonderful.

After lunch, i got to go to the movies and saw "The Dark Knight." It was very good, but felt just a bit off for me.

I have managed to get my "Homework" done this weekend and we will see if i can transport it to work tomorrow, I sure hope so as it will make for a wonderful showcase of some new capabilities.

Well I am off to bed soon, I hope..... sleep needs to happen more often for me.

Laterz folks, and as always, please leave comments.

UGHHH.........

It is days like this that remind me why I love Fridays so much. Not oly did I have 8 hours of training off site today I got the chance to go into work and put in an hour and a half cleaning up a mess and getting it off to a customer.

Days like this remind me why I like weekends.

Days like the remind me how alone you can feel at home.

Days like this remind me that I have good friends.

Days like this......

Vista

I do not know why people do not like the Vista OS. I have only had it for a few days and I have very few complaints or issues. I like the interface, stability has been great so far, and some of the updated chrome is nice.

For example I am loving the "Windows Sidebar", what i will be calling the gadget space. Right now, I am writing and reviewing this entire post in the gadget space. It is pretty cool if you ask me. Lets see I also have notes, two clocks, calandar and weather, CPU and Networking plots and monitors.

Due to ease and the fact that i will probably be using this a bit, hopefully i will finally follow through on posting more.

Leave comments, they make my poor small heart glow.... and that is a mental imiage for everyone.

Later folks,

Laptop Lifestyle

So computer health has been an issue in my house latley, laptop display has an issue, and the desktop is crash happy.

However at work, i got assigned a laptop and a special project. The laptop lifestyle at work is very nice, having the ability to move and still get your done is awesome. I had the ability to move to a quiet area and get my work done for real. It was very productive.

I get to go at it again next week and hopefully i will be able to get my own laptop back up and running.

Well i am enjoying my new desktop, it is execlent, and it works well too.

I am gonig to try and get better about posting, now that I have a few tools that might make things easier.

Still Alive

Howdy folks,

I an sorry I have been away, it just seems that life is getting so busy and hectic I find very little time to update anything. I will be trying in the next few weeks to keep this better up dated.

Drop me a message sometime, I like the feedback.

Soul Food

We all know I love food, and that I love to cook. We also know that I love to jabber on about the inconsequential in life. I have some favorite dishes that I enjoy preparing for myself or for special people in my life.

I have come to a dawning realization, Stir Fry, in a decent wok and a few ingredients is the best thing to ever run into leftovers. I love it, use up food already paid for (i.e. Cheap), you can use almost anything in it (Rice, pasta, any pork, beef, chicken etc.). Also it is a wonderfully quick method, tonight dinner went from the fridge to the plate is probably 15 minutes.

This may not seem to be real cooking to some people, correct there are not any exotic ingredients, not special plating, nothing special about it at all. To me however this is where my cooking soul lives, in the "feed me" zone. I live the place that hunger meets supplies, inspiration, preparation, and experimentation.

I mean it, who else would make spicy left over ham and rise stir fry, leftovers from Jambalaya, Christmas dinner, spices off the counter, and a bit of adventure to see if it worked.

I love to have fun, nothing fancy, nothing too involved, simply dishes that are tasty, easy, and good for the soul. Soul food is the meal that is made from the heart, soul, and love of the cook. I make myself some soul food every time I cook.

Put some Soul into your cooking, enjoy it, love it, have fun.

Still here

And still bad about posting.

I am really going to try and get better about this. We will see how long that lasts.

I simply wanted to let folks know i am doing well, I had a wonderful holidays.

Go check out the Photo Blog sometime and let me know what you think of the new photos i will be trying to post.

Hope ya'll are well,

Life

Is not just a good TV show on Wednesday night, but is also a very difficult thing to get a handle on. I really have to hope that life gets easier to handle this Christmas season.

I don't know if it is just me, but I think that modern America we have taken Christmas, the celebration of the bringer of eternal peace and hope, and replaced that celebration with slavery to a schedule. I know that it is not wrong to have a good time and enjoy a holiday with friends, however it is a problem when your attitude and mood go down hill due to the stress of trying to celebrate. I think so often I miss the point of holidays, they are not the time when you go out of your way to work yourself into a frenzy trying to make others happy.

I really want to take some time this season to really accept and claim the peace that offered freely to all by a little child born 2 millennium ago. I would implore that everyone take some time to experience peace in this season.

I want someone to hold me to this and to help remind me to find some measure of peace each day. I have a feeling that this is going to be counter to every last bit of the worlds requirements, but it might be the exact right thing for me.

Tell me what you think, and share some ideas for obtaining peace, if you would.

Welcome Back......

So yeah, I am bad about updating this thing. But come on, we all know that lives are busy, and everyone has a million things to do each and every day, right?

So I need to get better, I will try.

I do know one thing these days, Bible study is fascinating to me. I have this wonderful friend Mike Haskew, we can disagree on some points but with us it comes back to a point that we both agree on. I personally feel that it is one of the most intriguing relationships I have with anyone these days, to respectfully disagree with someone, yet not be concerned about trying to prove that one person or the other has to be right. So often these days we Americans are so caught up with the concept of "right", that we miss the concept of "friends". I know that I have done that in my own life, I have run people away from me by always having to be acknowledged as correct.

I think that what is really comes down to is pride. Pride drives you to think that you must be correct, and if that is true then all people must agree with you or they Must be wrong. I think that folks forget how simple a subject of right and wrong is, opinions aren't absolute, thoughts are not final; decisions are not cast in stone. Right and wrong is simple, Love the Lord your God with everything you have, and Love your neighbor as yourself.

On other, less deep topics, I had a blast a few weeks ago playing Flag Football with my company. They had a one day tournament and I actually am in better shape that I one thought. I played all but one down of 4 games, practically back to back. I had several sacks, an interception, and multiple hurries. I played both ways, O-Line and D-Line. I ran all day, and played it clean. I had fun.

If folks get a chance, I have a new MP3 player and I would love to get some philosophies on the correct way to order a play list.

Leave a comment and stuff, makes me feel loved.

September

Has been horrible for me. I am glad this month is finally ending.

I have seen family members hospitalized, friends parents pass away; people disappointed in the church, and friends hurt by simple words. This month has sucked.

Personally I have been as stressed out as I could be, work is interesting, the house is getting a bit busier ( I like to clean, maintain, and improve during the fall), Church is going to be an interesting situation for a while. All of this stress is starting to build up, and it is starting to get to me. Yes I admit to actually being human and I can be worn down by life. I am not going to stop fighting, but these days I seem to make no headway, no progress with anything.

Has anyone else ever run into that? You are moving along doing the right things, making good decisions and nothing works out correctly? It is really annoying to know that your best, your absolute full out best can't cut it.





For Everyone,

Have a Joyful October!



Peace be with you,

Matt

College Football

Will be the only thing that is going to keep me sane soon.

In case you had not heard my family is having to pull together around my Uncle Bob, he was struck with a stroke about a week and a half ago. The doctors managed a very tricky surgery and most likely saved his life with their quick intervention. Right now as of today we are dealing with less neurological issues and more medical issues. The course of action from here on out is going to be slow and safe, any big rushes are bad news.

This has been on my mind most of the time this last week, plus alot of other drama going on.

I am so glad to have football back, I may be the only person who is calmed down by football, but it really is a wonderful way to relax.

Well for now, I am going to cut it short, and simply ask for more prayers, and more sanity. The sanity is for me and my Aunt, the prayers are for me Uncle, my family, and the doctors and nurses, that all may have strength, knowledge, and insight to deal with everything as effectively as possible.

Time

Ever notice how time works? I mean really stop and take stock of time?

Take a moment and try it....... LONGEST 5 seconds of your life huh?

Odd, we can talk for 10 minutes and time flies, but sit quietly and empty your mind, and time drags so slow. It is curious to me today as I was going flat out today at work, and looked up at 5:30 and realized that I had totally lost an hour or two, just missed them entirely while I had been busy.

How is time this variable, that it's passing can have such a duality, sometimes the time goes by and we hardly notice cause we are so busy or self involved. At other times time will seem like it is dragging everything out to drive you crazy.

What I have noticed is that the main variable is where my focus is, weather the time is my stuff, or someone else's. If I am talking, or working, or blogging, or anything at all for myself it seems to pass in an eye blink most times. The times I am listening to someone else, or doing something I did not choose to do, or busy work it seems to drag out forever. I think there might be something to that, possibly my own psychosis, but maybe something else.

Perhaps the secret is that times seems to be the most treasured when it is something I love, talking with great friends, do the good work I know i am capable of, serving for God; helping folks out, listening to a good conversation, learning; reading a good book, cooking a dinner.

Perhaps we are supposed to treasure every moment in life, not by tyring to save it up and spend it later, but by making every moment as special as possible. The seconds fly by at "9,192,631,770 cycles of Cesium-133 at 0 degrees C" however that is not their value.

The value of time is what you do with it, every "shake of a lambs tail" is precious.





BTW : a "Shake of a tail" is the amount of time it takes light to cross approximately 30 cm, about 10 nanoseconds, and folks say that remembering atomic physics and history are useless.

55 Percent............ of?

Ok, so here goes.

It is half way through the year and where have we gotten so far? In the last 6 months, what all has been accomplished?

Globally, there have been regime changes in countries all over the world. Lives have been saved, lives have been taken. Movement all over the place, everywhere you see the evidence of life; where is the progress? All of this moving around, and business, where has it gotten the world?

Personally, what has happened in the last 6 months? Lets see, paid some stuff down, done much at work, mowed the lawn several times. I have slept and woken up 180 times (give or take a few), whined about work at least that many times. I have done some good in this world, and sadly, I have done evil. I am not sure if the last 6 months have been good, bad; helpful or destructive. I have moved my self around quite a bit, and seen changes, but I do not know if any of these changes were in a positive direction or not.

I guess what I am driving at, I think the last 6 months have been enjoyable, but I am not sure I actually accomplished anything of significance.

I have an idea, take a few minutes and look back, give yourself a semi-annual review of life. How do you fare?

Personally I think I would be about 55% of goal accomplishment, I have had more daily successes and fewer everyday failures, so I have to be on the positive side of something.

Just a thought for the day,

Random

But that is what you get for reading my blog.

So I recently found one of the most engrossing, and entertaining sports on the planet, America's Cup racing. It is totally fascinating to watch 2 boats that both "obey" the rules race. It is like a NASCAR race on wind power. I have had the chance to watch it at lunch these days, and it is really a nice break in the day.

I believe that the two competitors are a team from Switzerland, and New Zealand. personally I am pulling for the New Zealanders, at least they speak English (of a sort).

Really, if you ever get a chance to check it out, it is very interesting, like a chess match, car race, and meteorological contest all rolled into one nice portable package.

That is the randomness for today.